I'll be blunt. The reason I haven't posted anything since my disappointing doctor's appointment is because I hate sounding negative. I wanted to be able to come back with really good news, and I didn't think I had that.
Then I realized I was being silly. I have a pervasive, chronic infection and my system is very compromised. My progress is going to be slow and inconsistent. Despite everything I know about Lyme treatment, my subconscious really hoped this new prescription would be a wonder drug.
I can't go through treatment always expecting to find some miracle cure that will have me running and frolicking in a matter of weeks. If I live with those kinds of expectations, I will constantly be let down. There's a reason that "Chronic" is right in the name.
Herxing doesn't make the new medication process much easier, either. Right now, it feels as though my blood is super-heated and my skin is melting off. Those of you who also have Lyme know that's just the beginning.
This journey isn't going to be any easier if I keep dwelling on the negative, either. If I sit and mope about all my joints being swollen, I might overlook the fact that yesterday was the first day in almost a week that I haven't had serious stomach issues.
If I keep focusing on the down side, it also becomes very easy to forget how lucky I actually am. Unlike many, I am blessed with a wonderful support system who are not only sympathetic, but also able and willing to help me get through my treatment financially.
Always stay positive. It makes this really horrendous experience so much more tolerable. Sometimes, f you can find the one miniscule detail in your life that is undeniably good, or at the very least just makes you smile, it makes it worth it.
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